Wednesday, May 2, 2012


So I was watching an episode of Fox's show New Girl start Zoey Deschnel(i'm aware that was a fail in the spelling department) and the episode was all about backsliding. Going back with an ex, backsliding, even though you know, maybe you shouldnt. This is something I'm trying to figure out if i'm doing. I have reciently rekindled something with a sort of famous ex of mine and I don't think i'm backsliding. I mean i'm still aware of what happened and how things went down, but I also know that the person from five years ago is no longer around and I cant punish him for something he isn't even aware he did! I'm not going into detail because that is just to much and jsut incase someone randomly does stumble upon this I can have some things kept unknown.
I think I like him, I think he makes me happy. I know fer sure that I am happy. But i just don't know how real it is. I can't decide if i'm happy because of here and now or if it is my fourteen year old self that is the one whose excited because of all the old times.
I just know that I have to give it another shot, to give it everything I have because then I know that I can look back and said that I tried, I gave it everything I had and it still didnt work out and after this shot I had to just lay it downa and give up.
There is jsut something about this boy that makes my insides tingle and I just can not get enough of him no matter how hard I try.

**update** we ended up dating for almost 2 months and I realized he was a totally different guy from before with a whole new set of problems that I just can't deal with! He's an amazing guy but for someone else, not me