Tease

So my big pet peeve lately is teases! Guys who let you think you have a chance any as soon as you decided to take that chance it's like Woah! Hey now did you think that smile said I want to sleep with you because it really means I have a girlfriend and just think you're really nice. Please note ladies that we all know that these two smiles ARE THE SAME THING!!!! Or the guy who seems really nice and do fun to talk to and just as you think he may turn out to be really awesome boyfriend quality product, he's all hey so I'm just going to take my pants off and see what happens!

Then you have the other kinds of teasers like the boss who loves to point out everything you do wrong so when you finally do something right and you get really excited because maybe for once you will actually get oh say a "thank you" or maybe If they've had a few drinks or just got laid a "good job"!! But of course things never work out that way insted the remark is somewhere along the lines of " psh you think that's good, I could do it upside down while pouring coffe and giving that guy a blow job!"

I think I just need to finish my expresso and try to get something accomplished insted of bitching!

Dear mind, back the hell off!

Over thinking, this is something I do to such an extent that it actually gets in my way of living life. I can't gO out with friends because I just keep thinking about all this other stuff that have to do insted of going out with people. Even when I'm doing school work or such I just keep thinking about what else needs to be done once I'm done with this. I feel like if I don't get a hold on this while I'm still here at home, as a-posed to when I'm Away at school and will have even more distractions. I also Wonder if when I'm away at school that maybe it will be better because I will be away from my family and away from everything else that adds to this constant guilt and stress I have inside.

I just know this has to stop!

I want to live my life again, to be able to have the life of a typical college student I don't want to be out partying every night getting wasted to the point that I wake up in some hockey players closet with no pants and a very bad headache( ok so I guess if it's a cute hockey player it's ok) but you know what I mean! I want to have times where my mind can just shut off and I can simply focus on here and now, not what I need to accomplish tommrow.

Stupid Professors!

My biggest school related pet peeve...........teachers that cancel class...but dont have the decency to send you an email telling you first! So you still come to class all on time and everything just to find out its canceled so then your left to figure out what in the world you want to do for the next hour, in my case...............two hours! Thanks to the fact that I already have an hour break after this class, this left me with a two hour break to entertain myself at ICC. How hard is it teachers to pop in an email that says "Hey guys, I'm still a little drunk from the Super Bowl last night and i am going to be too busy puking to attend class today! See you on wednesday when i'm sobered up!" So there is my rant for the day.

I had to attach a picture of my baby girl, she insisted on "helping" me with typing this.

Sucky

I really do, truly suck at updating this thing and actually stick to what I say I am going to. If you are someone who happen to come across this I swear i'm not this gloom and doom. =] So I would life to dicuss something that has come into view for me.

Growing up my mom worked as a teller at a bank so every day she would get up do her make-up(were talking eyes, lashs, foundation, lips, the whole thing. She was just what I was use it, when we went on vacation we always had the little case that was titled "Mom's Face" and my brother and I's jobs as little kids was always to make sure we didn't forget "Mom's Face" and that was just normal too me growing up. As i got older my mom very early on let me explore with make-up and once I was in junior high she had me take lessons on how to apply make-up and such. To this day, if you ever see me out and I dont have my make-up on...somethings wrong. And to me, that is just normal! I'm almost 20 now and I have some friends that never wear make-up they just dont, they dont see the need for it and I noticed something else. Their mom's dont wear make-up! They never really have, besides special times.

Without my make-up on I really naked, I dont want people to look at me I'm not confident at all and just don't want to be seen at all! But my moms pretty much the same way. If we go grocery shopping she will start worrying if she looks ok and what people will see when they look at her. I of course things my mom looks fine without make-up and she thinks I look fine without it, but neither one of us is comfortable without are "faces" I hate it that my mom has such a low self esteem but I have reliezed that it has pasted onto me! My mom tells me all the time I need to be more confident and such, but if she isn't how can she expect me too?

The moral of this story is:

moms, how can you expect your daughters to have self esteem if you yourself doesnt?